Cosmarxpolitan, Issue 10
Are you normal down there (in the global south)?
i will never regret following this tumblr.
Space Ape Parody Shows Why Aquatic Ape Theory Is All Wet
This past weekend the misguided aquatic ape theory surfaced for air, only to get sunk in the most entertaining way. The theory holds that many traits of humans—including our naked skin, upright posture and large brains–evolved as adaptations to living in an aquatic environment. But fossil and archaeological evidence simply does not support this scenario, so whenever the aquatic ape theory makes the media rounds, scientists grumble. This time, however, they responded with parody.
On April 27 the Guardian ran a story on the aquatic ape theory, highlighting a symposiumthat will be held in London May 8 – 9 to “explore new research and evidence which suggests that at some stage during the last few million years, our human ancestors were exposed to a period of semiaquatic evolution which led to the acquisition of unique and primordial human characteristics.“ That story and other media coverage of the aquatic ape idea inspired anthropologist Brenna Hassett to propose a satirical alternative to the watery fringe theory in her blog the following day. Thus the space ape theory was born.
“Basic Arguments of the Space Ape Theory:
1. we have evolved big brains relative to our bodies because we don’t need our bodies to move around in space.
2. we don’t have much body hair because what would be the point of a few more follicles worth in 2.73 Kelvin (-270 Celsius)?
3. sinuses, far from being evolutionary spandrels, are little miniature internal space helmets.
4. our outsize eyes clearly show our relation to other species in space.
Follow-on arguments include the theory that language must have evolved once we re-terrestrialised, because as we all know, in space, no one can hear you scream.”
This, of course, led to the coining of a Twitter hashtag, #spaceape, whereupon more hilarity ensued”.
(Source: Scientific American)
I’ve finally done it. I have officially tracked down…
THE GREATEST PHOTO OF JET LI TO HAVE EVER BEEN TAKEN.
Firstly, why has he stolen Jackie Chan’s hair? Secondly, is that a suede blazer?
He’s rocking what can only be described as “space pirate heels” and has a look on his face that simply says, “Ladies, I can smell your soggy gussets.”
He looks like he’s applying for a job at Facebook.
And those creases! Who the hell ironed those bad boys? His pants look like they’re chiseled from marble.
He looks like Tony Monatana’s Asian henchman.
This might be the best thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like he walked into a tailors and said, “I want to look like Zack Morris’ arch nemesis.”
This is a thing of beauty.
Oh mah gawd!! Even Jet Li had a 80s boy band photo shoot! Brb loling too hard!
Oh. My. What luxuriant hair you have.
(Source: loveholic198, via thestreetballet)
You know what would be sad, if eventually they make a biopic of Leonardo DiCaprio’s life and the guy that plays Leo wins an Oscar for playing Leo.
(via no-gorms)
transatlanticwanker:
Since moving to America I’ve found that apparently very few Americans know all this. So I spent six hours designing a fancy photoset to explain it all. Naturally.
Never reblog shit with thoughtsnotunveiled in the same room. Tag abuse happens.
(Source: transatlanticwanker, via etharei)
